Grief—something we often avoid at all costs. Whether it's the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a career, or a divorce, grief is widely viewed as an unpleasant experience. Like many, I once believed grief was a "one and done" process: to feel deeply sad, and then be free of it. The reality is grief stays with us for life.
It’s Always There
Grief can sit dormant for years before being triggered by a memory or event, resurfacing unexpectedly. In my coaching practice, I encourage clients to fully embrace their grief when it arises. The five stages of grief—Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance—can be helpful to anticipate and recognize, allowing you to fully feel and process your emotions, rather than bottling them up.
A New Beginning
Grief can also be a portal to a new beginning. For example, if you lost a loved one and left things unsaid, it might inspire you to express your feelings more openly with others. After a divorce, you might reflect on your role in the relationship and learn more about yourself. If work led you to neglect your family, grief could push you to rebuild those connections.
In more intense cases, where grief feels inescapable, it may reveal deeper truths, such as realizing you’ve given too much of yourself to others. This awareness can spark lasting change, improving relationships and helping you live more authentically.
Grief can also make us "play small." For instance, after losing love, you may avoid risking love again. But embracing small steps—such as sharing love with family or volunteering—can lead to new beginnings. Volunteering as a hospice friend, as I did for two years, is an especially rewarding way to connect and make a difference, offering companionship to the dying while giving caregivers a much-needed break.
Look Up
New beginnings are always available if you're willing to ask, "How do I want to show up next time?"
Resource and Invitation
Grief is just one area I help clients with as they build emotional skills to navigate life. For more on this subject, I recommend Francis Weller’s The Wild Edge of Sorrow, a profound exploration of grief.
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